Family Tree
by SemperSursum
Summary: She says she wants to find herself. She'll get through, that's just the kind of person Sam Puckett is. So, she leaves a kiss on his cheek. Kind of based on the song Family Tree by Matthew West.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own iCarly. If I did, there'd be more drama and angst. Thank goodness, I don't.

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**F a m i l y T r e e**

On the 1st day of March, it rained.

She narrowed her eyes. It was just too movie-esque. She was surrounded by people in black dresses and suits. Some were even clutching black umbrellas. It was like they were expecting it to rain. She doesn't know most of them but they were all teary-eyed. She doesn't know why. She can't seem to comprehend why.

_Were they all her mom's friends? _

_Did her mother spend her time out of the house with these strangers? _

_What was her mom like to her friends?_

Questions kept on running around in her head. It made her feel nauseous. She wanted to faint. She wanted to run away. But Carly Shay's tight grip on her wrist made it impossible to do so. She was no doubt stronger than Carly but today, she felt weak and vulnerable. She wouldn't even attempt to pull out her hand in fear of collapsing because just a few minutes ago, her feet turned numb.

11… 12… 13… 14th rose.

It was her turn but she couldn't move. She shot her best friend a horrified look but Carly shrugged off and walked her to the casket. She didn't say anything but dropped off the single rose. After that, everything went by in a blur. All she can remember was that she needed to unpack her things in the Shay's guest room.

* * *

"How is she?"

"She's tired, Freddie." The brunette answered her other best friend. They were both worried for her. Sam was never good with emotions. She hasn't shed a tear and that only made them tense whenever they're around her. "How was the convention?"

"It was nice. I learned a lot of stuff we could use on the next web cast." He grinned at her sheepishly, trying to lighten the mood.

"I was thinking about canceling the web show. At least, until… Sam feels better."

He just nodded. "Has she…"

"No. You know Sam. She'd rather keep it in than show us how upset she is. I'm really worried, Freddie."

They were both his best friends and even though, he had gotten over his infatuation with Carly, he couldn't help but hold the brunette and give her a gentle squeeze.

And on her bed, Sam Puckett has never felt more alone.

* * *

"Sam, let it go. It's just a piece of ham." He tried to calm her down but she just continued fuming.

"Let it go? Let it go?" She yelled, making him flinch and back away a few inches from her. "Are you nuts, Frednub? That was the last piece of ham and she just made me drop it!"

"It was an accident, Sam!"

"Accident, smuckshident. I don't fucking care!" She wasn't being reasonable and he couldn't help but feel his temples throbbing. He was never good around shouting people.

"God, Sam! Shut the hell up! It was your fault anyway!"

And with clenched teeth, she ran away. So far away that even she herself doesn't know where.

* * *

He found her in her old bedroom.

She was curled up like a ball on her old and squeaky bed. Her shoulders were shaking, she was crying. Sam Puckett was crying. He tried wiping it away but she just pushed his hand away.

"…dead, my fault… gone, my fault… my fault, my fault." She continued to sob until she felt exhausted that she had let him wrap his arms around her.

"Sssh, I'm sorry. It's not your fault, Sam. It isn't." She only looked at him with eyes full of guilt.

And he kissed the top of her head.

He doesn't know what came over him. He almost expected a slap or a punch from her but nothing came, only soft lips crushing on his. It was rough. She was broken, he wanted to fix her. He knows this isn't the right way but if this is what she needs, he doesn't mind.

She pulled away and leaned on his shoulder.

No, it's not her fault.

She never asked for this. She never asked for a life like this. He refuses to believe it's her fault. He admits at her being cruel and selfish but it's can't always be her fault.

She believes it is though. And it's eating her.

* * *

They graduate. He's going to college, she's going to California.

Now that she's packing her stuff right in front of him, he can't help but wish that they could run away and live happily together. But she wouldn't like that, she'll never agree to that. She says she wants to find herself. She'll get through, that's just the kind of person Sam Puckett is. So, she leaves a kiss on his cheek.

And as her truck pulled out from his sight, he can't help but think that he's never really fixed her.

Sam Puckett knows that.

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A/N: **Sorry, I've been missing. School's been keeping me busy, terrible case of writer's block and depression. I promised to write something before March ends so here it is. Sam's personality is just too perfect for fics like this. Thanks for reading! :)**  
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